geriatric traffic offenses.

Call to my parents while they are driving home from a wedding in Austin, lost in more than one sense of the word, heading to cedar park

Singing in the background...

Mom:We are lost because your father missed the exit.

Dad: (singing stopped)We are not lost we are on rundeberg.  Rund-e-berg.  We are headed west.

Mom:  we are lost and who knows where, I have to worry about all kinds of people in this city-- blacks, Asian gangs, mexicans and white trash...

Dad: and with only a sliver moon to navigate.  We are having fun.

Mom: there is a stop sign right there!

Dad:  I see it.

Mom:  Then why are you going 40mph?

Dad:  So I can screech on the brakes.

Mom: And we are high(my mom says high for buzzed).  And they are going to arrest us and take us to jail.I bet if I asked this computer (she means her phone) how to get to cedar park it would say "you super dumb ass."  (dad in the background saying "rundeberg, rundeberg")

Dad:  (coming to his senses)  No, it would say go two blocks and get on 183.

Mom:  We are no where near 183.  What is that?  Is that the hospital that Audrey was in?

Dad:  I think it is...

Mom:  Oh, great, great a dead end.  Now can we turn around???  I see 35 from here,

Dad:  I know, I see 183 also.

Mom:  Go that way go that way, see?   There is a an exit.

Dad:  See, 183?  I told you...

Mom:Oh shut up, if you didn't have me you would be stuck that dead end.  Pendejo.

Dad:  let's exit duval and see if we can find a bar.

Mom:  no let's find one in cedar park.

Then the phone beeped and I had to hang up.  It was Audrey, looking for them.