The following is a true story, although I wish it wasn't....

Yesterday, I got in the car and I needed to get my spare house keys out to get into the house. And they weren't there. And they are always there. And since some one recently broke into my car, and since I had them the day before, and since my car was open for a long stretch of time when I was unloading everything from our all day pool trip, and since I suffer from an occasional case of what I consider to be healthy paranoia, I had a vision of the girls being kidnapped and sold into white slavery as I slept, so I decided to change the locks. I called my neighbor to do it, he came over, took them off, I dashed to lowes to get new ones, but before I did, I let the chickens out.

I tried to be super cool about it to Annabelle, but the house was open and I was envisioning it being raided as we tried to find the right locks. Annabelle said, " why are we hurrying, mama?" So we can go home and have fun.

Yeah, right. If fun involves my neighbor trying to change the locks while almost being eaten by my lab, who turns into an attack dog when she is around someone she doesn't know, that is what we had. So I let the dog out.

The thing is, the dog turns into a chicken eating shark when the chickens are out and I realized that about 2 minutes after she had been out. So I ran to get her, but it was too late, one chicken was dead and in the dog's hiding place, the rest were hiding in the coop.

I put the dog inside, and am feeling absolutely horrible when my other neighbor stopped by. She brought me a Starbucks and her daughter and son ran upstairs to play with Annabelle.

So to recap, inside I have a crazed chicken eating barking dog who is trying to eat one neighbor who is fixing my locks. My fairy godmother neighbor whose house is always clean and whose life is always perfect who has stopped for a visit and three kids upstairs. (T was mercifully at school) and a dead chicken in the yard. And this was the time when the little girls decided to crack open the science kit and make potions, and not read the instructions, because one, they can't and two, if they could they would have seen that the toy required "adult supervision." I hear "mom, it's overflowing!!!" I run upstairs to find that test tubes are over flowing with purple foamy water and a very bad
smell.

And I feel like I might be raped murdered by a possible bmv person.

This was the time I felt I should tell h everything that was going on. Calf rope. I was done.

Now text or call? How about both? During lunch. His busy time.

Awesome. Day.