A day in the life of coronacation

What I did yesterday...

Attempted to educate ignorant people.

Gave up. Committed to them remaining ignorant.

Picnicked outside and ate all the classic picnic items: chips, salsa, fried rice, watermelon and what we affectionately call “ the Vietnamese egg thing.”

Experienced extreme fatigue but couldn’t sleep or nap.

Decided to combat fatigue with accessories and put on earrings.

Received an invitation to sun myself and listen to music in the backyard from the man with whom I’ve been quarantining. Probably because of the earrings.

One woman dance party outside while ”brick house” was playing, while man ignored me.

Sudden and new appreciation for the lyric “built like an amazon.”

Discussion topic “should a chaise lounge be in the sun” and I finally made said man realize that people who tan feel differently about the sun than people who cannot.

Showed him how I sunburnt my décolleté area from a 20 minutes bike ride the other day, further proving my point.

Received an invitation to go to Lowe’s to purchase something deemed essential, with a special trip to Starbucks probably because of décolleté.

Said words “with that mask on, you’re almost as handsome as Sylvester Turner.”

The rest of the evening presented itself in a similarly uneventful fashion, the highlight of which was watching a tween drama about horses on Netflix.

I am eagerly awaiting the next installment...

Drunk rant

I I am fairly certain someone slipped me A mickey. I am so cinfised as to why they would do that and also , they gave the drinks to hieu so I am Just confused. But, needless to say, I fell into the pickle juice. i just tired to read what I wrote and. It made sno sense. But in my head it did.

I have to wash my hair. Thank you auto correct. You know you fell in the pickle juice when you are grateful for auto correct.

A tale of two play dates

Each of my kids had a friend over today for a play date.  Each play date is typical of how all their play dates with friends go.  

Tallulah's friend C________ came over.  They went upstairs and played something.  I am not sure what. They played quietly for two hours.  When it was time to go they fussed and didn't want it to end.  I reassured them that they could play again another day, but whining would not help their cause.  They accepted.  And then I took her home.  

Typical Tallulah play date.  

We picked up annabelle from band camp, ate lunch, cleaned up and got ready for her friend to arrive. 

Tallulah and I were peacefully  engaged in counting her money and sorting it by its mint date.  She told me just seconds before he arrived "what could be more fun than this?" 

L_______ gets here.  He has brought a metal detector and a bucket.  (These are the kinds of kids annabelle likes to play with.  Boys that have metal detectors and buckets)

They metal detected.  They played mag formers.  Then they enlisted my banker/ coin collected buddy to join in their mayhem.  

As I folded clothes, I heard screams and phrases like "get the secret weapons" and "let's put on our power shoes."  Then this boy barges into my room, apologizes and tells me he has to hide. He has two lint brushes in his hand.  I am folding my bras.  Before he has time to see what I am doing, annabelle comes running in with two combs that are covered in duct tape and has duct tape wrapped around her wrists ( side note: annabelle believes in  and adores duct tape the way Mexican people believe in La Virgen--She knows it can fix anything, has collections of it all over the house and carries some with her at all times).  They have a dagger fight with the brushes and the combs?  There  is screaming and laughing as he is transported to the jail.  There is running all over the house as he escapes from jail.  He runs back in my room and slams the door.  The girls haul him out again.  Meanwhile, I am having cramps and have now moved on to folding dish towels.  

I hear the vacuum cleaner going.  I check to see what's  going on.  Annabelle has spilled bird seed.  They have decided to train the parakeet.  Apparently the boy trained his grandmothers parakeet.  About this assertion, I am dubious.  The training is happening with the vacuum cleaner running and Sunshine in the room.  I convince them to turn off the vacuum and kick the dog out and I notice that each kid has their hand covered in duct tape because apparently the bird likes to bite. 

I go to the bathroom to see that in the thirty seconds that she has been out of the room, the dog has pooped on the bath mat.  I call Tallulah over to pick it up.  She takes one look at it and says, "I didn't do that."  

I hear the bird squawking  and the  kids yelling.  They say they need a net to catch the bird.  Tallulah has picked up the poop and is taking it to the outside trash can while holding her nose in extreme disgust.

She comes back in with a minnow net.  

I hear more screams and then "I've got it! I've got it."

The dog and I are currently  hiding in the living room.  

School starts in four weeks.  I wish it would never come....  

I know

I know that we went to a water park today.  The kind with death defying slides, a lazy river, snacks, a wave pool, a surfing area, and a height requirement. 

I know that we were hoping Tallulah was finally tall enough to go on all the rides.  I know that Tallulah is all in for this sort of thing, and wants to go a millions times and has no fear.

But I know that I didnt really think she was tall enough.  Or heavy enough.

I know that there were death defying slides.

I know that my aunt died in November.  

I know that I can't believe she is gone.

 I know that put her picture by the piano today and saw books that she gave the girls today.  I know we were talking about her on the way to the water park. I know annabelle begged us to stop becuase it was too sad.

I know that I saw Tallulah wave at me before she went down. I saw her and her friend wave at me.

I know that I was three tubes behind her.

I know that her tube got stuck when it came out of the Shute. I was watching, to cheer her on.  

I know her friend fell off.  But was still on the slide.

I know that Tallulah fell off, but fell over the slide.  I know because I saw.  I know what I saw. 

I know I can run fast.

I know I can scream loud.

 I know that when I saw her sitting up, surrounded by life guards and good Samaritans, she was probably ok.

I know she was crying hard.  I know her head looked really weird.

I know she asked if the other girl was ok, between her sobs.

I know that some people on earth right now, are living saints.  

I know my friends would take care of annabelle. 

I know the paramedics wanted to take Tallulah to a hospital nearby.

I know I trust texas childrens more.

I know I can drive really fast. 

I know that I can drive on the shoulder in an emergency.

I don't know if I believe in guardian angels.

I know that Tallulah survived a six to seven foot drop off a slide with velocity, landed on concrete and is just bruised up with a concussion and a severe hematoma. 

 I know mostly trust doctors. 

I know my husband can be a calm guiding force when he wants to be.

I know Tallulah is in her bed, sleeping peacefully.  

I know that Tallulah survived. 

But I don't know how.  

The problem with public school....

Well, there are many.  And I could write an entire blog.  There are also many things that are going right, but I have really been thinking about a lot of things lately, and I have decided to write them down, just to make myself feel better, so here is my rant for today:

Annabelle just took her first starr test.  It was no biggie.  She wasn't stressed.  She actually said she was excited about it the night before.  At the beginning of the year, she asked me why she had to do it and I explained it to her like this:

" there are some kids, who struggle in school.  They can't read very well, they can't add, or maybe even count.  You don't know them and they don't even go to your school.  But we need to find out who those kids are and help them.  Their parents may not know, or may have struggled in school themselves.  You will do fine, so will everyone on your class and in your entire school. ". 

She accepted this and moved on, no further questions or worries.  

But after Monday, I asked her, "how was it?" "It was easy,"  she said.  That made me feel good.  

But then this:

"they didn't even ask us half the stuff Ms. Chadick had us work on the entire year for it.  They only asked us one capacity question."

So let me get this straight--we have been working on passing a test, designed for people of average intelligence for the ENTIRE year.  My kid takes same test that a kid whose parents just crossed the border last year and can barely speak English.  That's fine, I get it, I am not anti- standardized test.  But my kid has to be taught things for this test the entire year? 

And then my school which has gathered gift and talented kids from across several neighborhoods gets to crow about how great their scores are?  They gathered smart kids, put them all in the same school, taught them how to take a test for average kids, and then they get to pat themselves on the back because they did well on the exam???

Who can I complain to?  The school?  They say they are doing their job.  They like winning blue ribbons and getting recognition.  The district?  Who would I even call in that monolith?   My state rep?  I am sure he'll get right back to me, right after they figure out which bathroom we can all go in...

How can I say, you are dumbing us down?  You're dumbing down the smart kids, you are terrorizing the average kids, and the below average kids are still falling through the cracks.  

Who really cares? 

When there is something...

Sometimes, I think there is something different about Tallulah.  Besides being awesome and amazing, like everyone thinks their kid is, every once in a while, I think there is something else.

Hyphen has always said that she gives the best hugs.  He calls them lu-lu hugs. He asks for them every day because he says he feels so much better afterward.  And this, in itself, or the fact that I think her little pats and affections are particularly soothing, would be no big deal.  

But her teachers say the same thing.  Her pre-k 3 teacher told me several times, how if she was having a bad day, she would give Tallulah and hug and feel so much better.  "It's weird.  But I really feel so good afterward."  Her pre-k 4 teacher also told me that she gave such good hugs.  After hearing this a few times and experiencing it myself, I told my mom about it.  Of course, to her Tallulah is a saint.  Clearly her favorite...not at all fair to the other three.  "Well, there ARE saints living among us."  

I am not so sure about that, I don't recall Saint Francis stomping as hard as he could on his sister's foot, like happened on Monday, but, could be. 

Today, she had a field trip.  So after it was over, we checked out of school early, and headed to the police stable to feed the horses.  We hadn't done that in a while, it was more of a pre-k activity.  Lately, though, it seems like we are missing pre-k.  There is a lot of, "I just want to be with you, mama.... I just want to spend time with you."  So we went today to feed the horses carrots.  There was one that was skittish, and didn't want to be petted.  He kept turning his head away.  

Except when Tallulah came by.  He turned his face toward her, and was still and calm while she stroked his tremendous cheek.  

So maybe this is a thing.  Maybe this is something.

Alice lives here now and my dog crapped in the car

I haven't written in this thing in over a year.  Primarily, because at night, I am so damn tired, the only thing I can bring myself to do is become annoyed with people I haven't talked to for 20 years on Facebook due to their political leanings.  I write every night in my head, while I lie down with the girls.  But then, I fall asleep after about 2 minutes and stagger out of their room at 10:30, only to find a husband sleeping on the couch with Fallon jabbering in the background.  Then, cue facebook.  It's a terrible habit, but it makes everyone happy... well, two of us, so in an effort to curb this, I have been trying delay tactics or I go on a walk with a friend.  That usually gets Tallulah to give up the ghost, and then I just have to deal with the thinker--"Mama, I think I am going to invent a machine that"...blah blah, I can't hear it, I am asleep.  

But Tallulah is not as happy with this arrangement as I supposed.   The other night, I went on a walk and hyphen put them to sleep.  Then next morning I found out from annabelle that Tallulah has another mom named Alice.  She lives behind the back corner of her bed.  She only comes out when I am not there or don't put her to sleep.  Mommy Alice has light brown hair that is curly at the ends.  She has brown skin kind of like Tallulah's, and she is about Tallulah's size.  She doesn't have a birthmark.  She is very nice.  Although I don't know mommy Alice, I have to say, I really like her.  

It's too bad she can't do more around the house though.  Like today, when I dropped the dogs off at the boarder.  I am telling the boarder how cute the little dog is, how she steals things and hides them.  How she likes to play keep away with the girls.  How when I bring Tallulah to drop her off, Tallulah cries and cries.  It's all so sweet.  So damn sweet, until I get back in the car and it stinks like a two week old bag of raw shrimp that got left in the beer fridge. I look in the back and see two small dog turds.  I could have really used mommy Alice's help right then.

I am about to be out of the pet business.  That was it.  So I had to clean them up and this is the kind of crap, literally, that makes me tired at night.  

It's a vicious cycle.  My dad told to at least be grateful.

It could have been the big dog.  

What o did over my summer vacation II-- bigger, badder and with more dog turds....

We left off with a new puppy-- who is still not potty trained, but that is another story.  

Since hyphen is  lazy about getting me gifts, I cajoled him into a family camping trip in lieu of a Mother's Day/ anniversary present.  Colorado.  Cool weather in August. Beauty.  Peace.  Tranquility.  

He agreed, partially because he wanted to buy a space trailer, because he can't travel in the van if it's messy(there is a phrase for this, I think it is known in the medical community as bat shit crazy).  So we had this new puppy who we couldn't board, two wild children,a bunch of camping gear, and a dream road trip, if you like road trips, which I do.

Drive to canyon tx, see the texas show in palo duro state park, leave the next day, drive to colorado. Arrive.  Enjoy the mesa verde national park ( where we were staying) on Monday, whitewater raft on Tuesday, train trip on Wednesday, head to another camp ground higher in the mountains for the rest of the week.  Come home on Saturday.  Done.  Perfect vacation.

Until the vacation gods decide to take a big, big crap on you.

We got to canyon.  We ate at a cafe.  We were going to get ice for our coolers, when the van crapped out on us.  The same van we had spent tons of money on earlier in the summer to get ready for all these road trips. 

Now Canyon is in west Texas.  And it is hundreds of miles away from the hustle and bustle of Houston.  It is one of those places where nothing is open on Sunday. Or much past five on Saturday.  We managed to pull into an o' Riley auto parts right as they were closing.  Alternator.  Nearest place to fix it was in Amarillo, but the next day was Sunday and there was not a lot open.  The show at the state park was starting in 3 hours.  The girls were getting worried.  Numerous phone calls were made, including one to my dad, who went to college in canyon, and grew up not too far from there. 

Through the miracle of small towns, his sister has a friend in canyon.  A stranger gave us a ride to the hotel, and hyphen a ride to Amarillo see about a rental car and car repair shops.  I called my aunt's friend.  My conversation went like this " hi, my name is Stella stevens, I am e------ n------ niece."  His taciturn west Texas reposnse?  "I'm sorry."  Ok.  So this dude gave the girls and I a ride to the show.  He's totally getting a christmas card.

Long story short, we got the car fixed on Sunday.  Which was our anniversary.  I am leaving out the part about how the firestone in Amarillo was out of power for a few hours, but that doesn't matter.  It was fixed.  And at four o'clock, we were on our way.  We decided to stay at a Koa in Santa Fe.  On our way, I share with hyphen what I learned from my aunt's friend while he was taking us to the texas show--there was some kind of chemical spill in silverton, which was affecting the river downstream in Durango, and that white water rafting may not happen.  Just some toxic sludge.  Thanks EPA.  

We arrived at the Koa, in the dark of night.  Ever pitched a tent at night?  Don't.  Got up the next morning, packed up and enjoyed downtown Santa Fe, which is lovely, and I will move there some day.  We continued to Durango, all the while calling the whitewater rafting place, trying to figure out what was going on.  We decided whitewater rafting was probably not going to happen, so we tried to find a place that would take us horseback riding.  And when I say us, I mean Tallulah.  The minimum age for most outfitters was six.  I started  my conversations out like this "I've got a kid who is almost 5, we won't say she is 4, we will say she is almost 5..."

We arrive in Colorado on Monday afternoon, but notice that the car is still acting funny.  We make camp, and as we head for the showers, I notice I can barely turn the wheel of the van.  We decide that it is better to spend Tuesday trying to fix the car.  So we spend a fair amount of Tuesday at a Firestone station, then we decide to check out the train station, and I call the dog kennel to confirm our reservation for while we are on the train ride the next day.  Turns out that whoever took out reservation, despite the fact we discussed my puppy's age, did not have to authority to let us go there.  The puppy was too young.  So we scramble and beg and cajole before we find a private, in home, dog sitter who will take her.  They are my fb friends now.  We are also scrambling to find a horseback riding place, since the river is totally contaminated.  We find a place that doesn't care about 4 year old kids being safe, get on the horses, and then, it starts to thunder.  And thunder some more, but the horse people assure us, that the rain always goes around the mountains.  Twenty minutes later, I am soaked to the bone, and laughing, and my guide says "I guess you must like rainstorms."  Not particularly, but there was nothing else to do at this point.  

But may I now just say, that riding horses with my family in the San Juan mountains in Colorado, is my most favorite thing to do in the world.  

On Wednesday we drop the car off again to get some power steering thing fixed, while we have our train excursion.

I saw real waterfalls, falling off the sides of mountains.  Real waterfalls.  

By the end of the day, the car was fixed.  And we were exhausted.  We decided to stay in Mesa verde, we saw in the indian ruins on Thursday, and on Friday, we headed home, a day early, because I needed a break from my Mother's Day/ anniversary present.

But now, if I want to feel peace, I think of my horse ride.  My horse liked to be last, so I was separated from the girls and hyphen.  This made me nervous at first, but once I saw my tiny, but mighty, Tallulah guiding her horse, controlling her horse with her reins--like a natural horsewoman, I stopped worrying at all.  I just started enjoying.  And this scenery has replaced that one spot on frio river, the one with the blue clay bottom and the cliffs, as the place my brain likes to go to calm down.

Hyphen drove the whole way home, and as we drove home through New Mexico, we listened to that old Paul Simon song, hearts and bones, which although sad, somehow perfectly fit where we were.  Tell me why, why don't you love me for who I am where I am?  Becuase that's not the way the world is.  This is how I love you babe. This is how I love you babe. 

And now we are back on our busy street. School has begun, soccer games tomorrow morning, ballet, CCE, funrun stuff, get kids up, make breakfast, make lunches, laundry, clean the house, shuttle children, puppy crapping every where but the grass, PTA meetings, homework, friend with new baby, funrun kickoff--just the slings and arrows of raising kids in 2015.  And that is just my list.  I am not running several multi million dollar businesses.  That is someone else in my house.

So forgive me for looking back through the cracks in the door, for thinking about when we were free to wander wherever we chose.  And while I am not ready to laugh about the griswoldian vacation, I do notice that we never said one harsh word to each other during it.  

But annabelle, annabelle who reads joke books before bed, sees the humor.  Her back to school essay went something like this, " our car broke down.  The epa spilt chmcals.  It rained while we rode our horses.."  There is a picture of a black car, an orange river, and a horse who looks to be pooping....  I am filing that in my keep forever folder.  It's a real folder I have upstairs in the attic, not to be confused with the one I have in my heart.  

Without his lifelong friend, Puff could not be brave

About a month before kinder started for Annabelle, we had a little get-to-know-you play date.  This was a key day for us, because we knew only 2 kids in the whole school.  As soon as we got there Annabelle told me, "I recognize that boy.  He was at s______'s party.  I remember him becuase he had on a weird shirt."  "What was weird about it?" I asked.  "It was glow in the dark"

I introduced myself to his mom and we chatted and talked. When we left, Annabelle told me that she hoped he was in her class.  He was, and then he was in her first grade class too. 

To say they are friends does not really do it justice. They are more like kindred spirits.  I don't like the word soul mates, because 1. I don't believe in soul mates and 2. It inherently implies something romantic and there is nothing romantic about the two.  

They are simply very content together. They play, they sit in silence, they eat their snack together, they discuss science and look for animal tracks.  He likes Tallulah.  They never fuss, and he has a box of rocks in his room too. They ate  lunch together every day last year, and they know when to give each other space.  "I let him play with the boys today, mama, it seemed like that is what he wanted to do." 

We asked for them to be in the same class again and our request was not honored.  So despite the fact that annabelle has the nicest teacher in the school, who is young and pretty and likes to teach with songs, and doesn't yell, all those awesome things, despite this-- she is unhappy.  She was in tears tonight.  She is not saying she misses him, but she is pointing out every negative thing about her day, which included a boy saying "La La" in her face as loud as he could.  I explained how boys do silly things, because they are incapable of saying, " hi, annabelle, I like your suspenders, you are pretty and nice, will you be my friend?"   And because they are such simple creatures they scream la la instead.  

Response: 

"H______never does that."  

I am trying to ignore this.  It is the second day of school, after a long, fun summer.  So we are going to plod on, but I can't help but feel sad, so sad, because the beginning of school last year and the year before were so joyous.  And second grade, out of all my grades, was the very best one-- which is perhaps sadder for me that I peaked so early. 

But I know if he was in her class, there would be a boat with billowed sails, and pirates lowering their flag.  

Trying to get my girl out of her cave.  

What I did over my summer vacation, part 1

I went to Florida.  With some very dear friends and my parents.  This was the first time that we have been on a vacation with my parents-- not a weekend get away, but a full week long vacation.  At the beach.  My dad is not really a beach person, and he is certainly not a sit around and relax person.  He is more of a project person-- as in, let me dig a trench and put in a pump that will allow me to water my yard with river water and the trench will be dug uphill, and there will be much sweat and a possible trip to the ER.  He's that kind of person.  

But I think he had fun.  You have never lived until you see a septuagenarian jump into the Gulf of Mexico to chase after a manatee.  When you see that, you have about one second to decide, "yeah, me too," and then you have got to jump in.  Because if your 72 year old dad is going to jump, in then, hell, you have to too.  

My mom and the girls had fun. They played lots of uno and there was lots of cheating. Like-- I-am-going-to-pee-but-I-am-taking-my-cards-with-me-because-I-trust-no-one kind of cheating.  

I also reaffirmed why I won't ever leave the kids with my mom for any length of time-- and that is because she has no filter and is completely inappropriate.  To wit: we were discussing, in front of my children, my friend's sister who is dating a guy who is very particular.  He is the type of person who gets mad at you for opening the chip bag wrong(it's chips how can it be wrong?  Open the bag,eat.) and since I am married to that guy, I can tell you that life is too short to give a shit about how you open the chip bag.  Don't get me wrong, we have two lovely children and love each other very much, but he annoys the hell out of me.  So I was advising for a breakup.  My mom agreed and added, in front of my innocent children, who she wants to be good Catholic girls, "well, all I can say is, the sex better be great."  

Sweet Jesus.  She is now the gym teacher sub at the catholic school in her town.  That's not a typo.  That said gym.  When this septuagenarian tells you to do jumping jacks, you have about one second to say yes, ma'am. Because if Toni stevens is your gym teacher, you better jump, and jump high.  

We also had surf camp, the 4th of July parade, swim team, days soaking up the last bit of fun we could with some very dear friends who moved to Kazakhstan-- which involved lots of water parks.  At one point, the girls were so tan that their surrogate grandmother, who we know from church, didn't recognize them.  

And then, just for kicks, we adopted a puppy.  At first hyphen was dead set against it.  Then I told Tallulah he said no.  You can see her reaction, which I sent him via text message.  A few days later, I had my dog.  I told my parents how cute she was, but that she had pooped in the kitchen shortly after we got her.  My dad: "the first of many." Yep, that's about right.  Many. 

Then we went to Colorado.....and that's when things got really interesting.  

I'd write more tonight, but I have to go.  The dog just crapped on the carpet.  Again...

Winning at being a mom...

I never watch the news, because it is too depressing. People are killed, society is down the toilet, congress is broken, politicians embarrass me, Twitter is newsworthy, isis exists, sex drugs and rock-n- roll are glorified-- all the basic stuff that makes me blue, so I ignore it completely.

I get my news from my parents, who find it just as depressing as I do, but watch it constantly.

But here is my news for today.

Today my daughter drew a picture of mermaids. Look at it closely.

Never, in my history of drawing pictures as a child, did I ever draw anyone's skin, with any other color than a peach crayon.

So I am here today to say-- fly your rainbow flag, fly your stars-bars-- whatever, man. I don't care. My kid sees the world in a different way, where mermaids are brown. I am winning at being a mom, my neighborhood, my school, my church, we are winning at what we are supposed to be doing.

We are winning the hearts and minds of the people that matter.

What we did today

Dive practice

Finding Froglets with Friends

Tennis anyone? 

Hello summer, nice to see you again. 

The watchers

I took this picture the other day.  Two kindred spirits hanging out in the garage, holding hands, drinking a cold one.  

Our children are watching us.  They watch what we do, what we say.  

I see this in their interaction with people.  With their patience and kindness, and sadly with their lack thereof.  

I see it in tallulah, tonight at a restaurant.  How she mirrored her dad as he scratched his neck look up at the ceiling and took a sip of his beer.  

They watch us and this is an awesome and mighty responsibility. 

I watch her.  As she sleeps.  I see the  perfect heart on her peaceful face.  A kiss of love from the One who knew and loved her before she was formed in my womb.  Who gave her the best qualities of both of us combined, who is an awesome and mighty God. 

And now, after four years of hearing to the contrary, we find out that this perfect heart can be erased.  The heart that in many ways has become her essence, the grace and love that is tallulah stamped upon her face can be changed and grafted.  She can be defaced. 

And now we are to decide if what we teach about beauty is true.  We make a decision for her that literally leave a mark for the rest of her life.  

And they watch us. 

Tallulah on the whole gay parenting thing

There is a kid in Annabelle's class with two mommies. And they are the nicest two mommies in the world. When I am around them, I wish I had another mommy to share my life with, rather than the paunchy man next to me, who is alternating between snoring, watching a show on navy seals, and having beer farts.

To wit: conversation in the parking lot after a workout at the gym--

Mommy 1: you know what, instead of driving, we should walk to ________(wherever they were headed)

Mommy 2: what a great idea!

Ummm. Yeah, that not how that would have gone down in my house.

Me: let's walk

H: you can. It's hot and there are Mosquitos. No one is stopping you. Go.

But I digress....

My kids don't know about gay, we haven't discussed it, much like until recently, they didn't really get "black" or "white". We shelter our kids from what we perceive to be adult issues. Because make no mistake, they are adult issues. Kids don't care. They just want to play.

Annabelle has never said anything about this child having two mommies, because for as smart as she is, she can be remarkably unobservant. Or perhaps she is just accepting, the way children are--she likes him and plays veterinarian with him at recess and that is fine with me.

But the kid has a little brother, who is Tallulah's age. And Tallulah, unlike her sister, has street smarts-- she notices things.

Tallulah: mommy, let me tell you something. Sometimes, people can have two moms. Like ______ and________. They have two mommies.

Me: yes, that is true.

That should have been it. But, curiosity got the better of me. I know my 4 year old child, my child who loves and adores me all the time, even when I don't deserve it, and I felt I knew what her answer would be, but I wanted to ask her anyway....

Me: so what do you think is better-- to have two mommies, or a mommy and a daddy.

Tallulah(in a tone that says duh): two mommies!

Duh.

A visit from a sweet little old lady

My mom is here for a brief visit. She has been here for about two hours. In the first five minutes she was here she said, in front of my 4 year old, "ay Chingao, I hit myself with this stupid door, I hate it." My kids think stupid and hate are bad words, so chingar, they don't know. Then she proceeded to tell Tallulah that the reason she tripped is because she was being bad and her angel made her fall down. She then explained to my toddler child that everyone has an angel and the reason you fall or trip is because they make you do it, especially when you are being bad.

In short, my mom has taught Tallulah fuck in Spanish, and made her scared of angels.

She is calling for toilet paper now. No one is bringing it to her. She is threatening to wipe herself with a towel. And she says she won't tell us which one.

They are headed to New Orleans so god only knows what she is going to come back teaching her....

In love

Have you even fallen in love?

Not fallen,

Struck.

Have you ever been struck by love?

San Antonio,

You have my heart.

Houston,

You have my loyalty.

Big Bend has my soul.

Daylight savings time

This is the time of year when all of us moms are grousing about daylight savings time and the hangover it gives our kids. Including me. Annabelle woke up at 4 in the morning, terrified because she hadn't finished her homework. Her homework was to draw a picture of a Texas day in the springtime. Her hand got tired so she hadn't finished coloring the tree on her picture of a picnic in the bluebonnets. So I let her sleep in until seven. Normally she needs to get up at 6:30 to get ready by seven, to have time to eat breakfast and then brush teeth, do hair, get jacket and backpack and head out the door by 7:40. Yes, it takes that long. Then, she is in school. There are lines and bells and classes, and nouns and verbs, and all that crap. Then she comes home. And depending on the day, she may have to do homework, eat dinner and go to some activity. Then, bath, brush teeth, spend some time with dad, read books, bed. Notice that play is not always part of her schedule. Her life is highly scripted and is almost completely dictated by school.

Tallulah's life in preschool is very different than her sister's. She is learning to be a bucket filler, not a bucket dipper. She sings songs almost all the time, songs that she learned at school. When she is at home, she plays or helps me. She is little chef, and I am big chef. Excpet she can't say chef, so she says "cheft." Little cheft can make chicken pot pie, chili, quiche and banana bread. She really shines at sautéing things. She likes me to read the same book over and over again. She plays by herself a fair amount. She is super awesome at folding clothes. She is a Ngyuen, so she has that weird way they fold shirts down. She was explaining it to me today. "you fold it in haf, den you fold de ahms, in den fold it again, and den it is a skuwayah mommy. Like dis." Ok. Whatever.

She helped me cook supper tonight, as a matter of fact. One of Annabelle's classmates came over for supper. His dad dropped him off and I told him annabelle was out back. She had just came home from ballet and changed clothes and headed straight for the back door. Tell A________ I'm outside mommy". I finished up the corn bread and kept an eye on them-- this boy seemed content to be bossed around by two girls, one whom was covered in mud. I am not really sure what they were doing, but Tallulah's guardian angel told me to check on her just as she was trying to use the toy wheel barrow as a step ladder, whereby saving me a trip to the er. Thanks, GMS.

I glanced up at the fridge and saw my favorite magnet, a picture of the girls, from the time summer when annabelle was three and Tallulah was 8 months, or so. It was when Annabelle was in her " I only wear my underwear and no other clothes" phase. She had a tan line to match. My pippi longstocking girl who liked to draw cat whiskers on her face, and cover her arms and legs in marker. The ultimate free spirit. I wish school would give her back

And now she was outside, and was going to need a bath before dinner, and in all likelihood so was her friend. No homework done and it was almost 630. But it felt early, because it was still light out. And for a second, I could feel the warmth and promise of summer, just around the corner.

The hazy, crazy, lazy days, as the song says. The promise that is worth the hangover.

It is my kind of town

We went to Chicago last weekend. We had a wonderful time, apart from a run in with a misanthropic Korean man who hates the sound of childhood joy. But that is another story. Tallulah we discovered, well , not really discovered as much an a reinforcement of her strangeness, has an optimal temperature. It's about 74. If she is any colder, she is miserable and if she is any hotter she is miserable. And so is everyone else around her. Coats make her hot. 20 degree temps make her cold. She was not a happy camper. Neither was her dad, who can't ride in taxis because they make him car sick. So we walked, she complained and tried to hail her own cab. She also almost touched the most famous painting in the art institute and fell into a statute of the bhudda. The docents suggested a stroller.... Hyphen said she had to stay home until she became a grown up.

But Annabelle and I had fun. Until the Korean guy at the restaurant got after her for whistling. The f bombs at the table next to us--those were ok.

We were joined by a favorite aunt, so that was an added bonus. And we saw a lovely city. And despite all the craziness I would go back. I would even take Tallulah.

Why sometimes annabelle takes a while to go to sleep

Last night we had a party, and we watched an outside movie. We chose E.T. The kids loved it, despite it being the scariest thing they have seen so far.

But the problem with watching movies, and is why we don't do it too often, is that they are very stimulating, especially before bedtime. Last night everyone left late, so it wasn't a problem. But it was tonight.

Tallulah was still exhausted from last night and she fell asleep in her father's arms at 5:45. Leaving us with some rare Annabelle alone time.

As we were taking a bath she started with the ET phone home stuff and how grandma said it was one of the most famous movie lines ever. I said some from Casablanca had to be up there. This caused me to explain the plot to her. Then after bath, we googled the AFI list of top 100 movie lines. Some have damn in them, the word she regretfully heard last fall on tv. Casablanca had 6 quotes. Titanic had one. Btw, you haven't lived until you've heard an almost 7 year old say, Mrs, Robinson, are you trying to se- se- se.... Then I scrolled down and hyphen said it was time for bed.

Then this occurred while I was lying with her:

How far in the song did Sam sing before Rick told him not to? (Not sure.)I am scared of ET, mamma, I can't stop thinking about it.( let's think about a non scary movie like lady and the tramp) you know that old lady was really smart, because she knew that dogs don't like cats, so she brought these cats to get the dog in trouble because she didn't like dogs either. When did they find the titanic, when you were in the third grade? (Not sure) when did it sink? Why did people die? Why didn't they have enough life boats? Why couldn't people just swim until the other ships got there?

The titanic discussion prompted her to really hold her teddy tight. Did I mention, I am an idiot sometimes?

But then, old faithful, math, saved us from staying up all night. "you know what numbers I really like to add? I like it when all the digits are the same, like 333. That's the most fun to add."

And then, 30 seconds later, she fell asleep. Clearly, she knows how to comfort herself.

Tomorrow she is 7. In the blink of an eye, seven years.

Things I am thinking about today

1. As part of my continual disrespect for authority, I really hate assigned lunch seating.
2. I love it that when at lunch, a kid yelled at annabelle in her face for saying she didn't believe he was in boys scouts, she stood her ground and said" I don't have to believe everything people say."
3. But, I wish she had been kinder to the kid
4. The kid doesn't have a mom, and when I see the him, he gives me a huge hug and doesn't let go and I love him a little bit, but he can't mess with my baby....
5. I had chips for breakfast today.
6. Tallulah says oneth instead of first.
7. It is lent, it is the lunar new year, it is my birthday, and it still feels like the regular new year.
8. These are times of reflection.
9. Tonight Tallulah said that she doesn't want to grow up, she wanted to be an angel. She has said this before. It FREAKS me out.
10. My uncle died on Valentine's Day.
11. I saw him 5 times my whole life
12. I wonder why I didn't see him more.
13. If you watch Tallulah skip you will crack up. She can't do it. She just does a scissor kick kind of move and it is hilarious.
14. Annabelle learned to whistle over Christmas and now she won't stop. She whistles all day long.
15. I think all party favors at kids birthdays should be banned.
16. My cousin had a baby the day after Christmas. If you hold him, you feel God's peace.
17. A few weeks ago, annabelle broke her arm, while attempting a cartwheel.
18. She had a cast for three weeks.
19. The final X-ray showed it was broken in two places.
20. She is healed, but hasn't done a cartwheel since.
21. She used to do about 30 cartwheels a day.
22. Hyphen got me a valentine card this year. He has never done this. I love him a little bit
23. He just told me that the house was dirty. I hate him a little bit.
24. For reasons that remain unknown, the girls are trying to teach the dog to go upstairs.
25. They are using a rope and a dog biscuit tied into the rope. It's like they are fishing for lab.
26. The damn dog is so stupid that it is working.
27. Annabelle is turning 7. I am not ok with this.
28. We are going to Chicago in a few days.
29. Tallulah was playing with a plastic bird today. I heard her say, " I told you not to poop in my pocket,birdie, now you have to clean it up."
30. It is the lunar new year today. The girls wore their vietnamese dresses and they were adorable. And looked very Asian.
31. I cannot spare another aunt or uncle. Please understand that, Lord.
32. The other day we were at my nieces' birthday party. There was a lady there I instantly didn't like. Why am I like that? All she did was complain.
33. When I told my mom, she said "I know. I hate her too. I wanted to tell her 'shut up, bitch, you don't know shit about public education.'"
34. Make me a channel of your peace.
35. When I told my sister to avoid that lady, she said " you mean the one that needs to get laid?"
36. Thank you for my people, dear Lord. They are my home.
37. Sometimes I want another baby.
38. I got really crazy one day and texted hyphen that we should have another one, and please do not respond " why are you bothering me with this shit?"
39. He had to erase his reply.
40. I feel very young most of the time
41. But I know that I am too old for that....