The watchers

I took this picture the other day.  Two kindred spirits hanging out in the garage, holding hands, drinking a cold one.  

Our children are watching us.  They watch what we do, what we say.  

I see this in their interaction with people.  With their patience and kindness, and sadly with their lack thereof.  

I see it in tallulah, tonight at a restaurant.  How she mirrored her dad as he scratched his neck look up at the ceiling and took a sip of his beer.  

They watch us and this is an awesome and mighty responsibility. 

I watch her.  As she sleeps.  I see the  perfect heart on her peaceful face.  A kiss of love from the One who knew and loved her before she was formed in my womb.  Who gave her the best qualities of both of us combined, who is an awesome and mighty God. 

And now, after four years of hearing to the contrary, we find out that this perfect heart can be erased.  The heart that in many ways has become her essence, the grace and love that is tallulah stamped upon her face can be changed and grafted.  She can be defaced. 

And now we are to decide if what we teach about beauty is true.  We make a decision for her that literally leave a mark for the rest of her life.  

And they watch us. 

Tallulah on the whole gay parenting thing

There is a kid in Annabelle's class with two mommies. And they are the nicest two mommies in the world. When I am around them, I wish I had another mommy to share my life with, rather than the paunchy man next to me, who is alternating between snoring, watching a show on navy seals, and having beer farts.

To wit: conversation in the parking lot after a workout at the gym--

Mommy 1: you know what, instead of driving, we should walk to ________(wherever they were headed)

Mommy 2: what a great idea!

Ummm. Yeah, that not how that would have gone down in my house.

Me: let's walk

H: you can. It's hot and there are Mosquitos. No one is stopping you. Go.

But I digress....

My kids don't know about gay, we haven't discussed it, much like until recently, they didn't really get "black" or "white". We shelter our kids from what we perceive to be adult issues. Because make no mistake, they are adult issues. Kids don't care. They just want to play.

Annabelle has never said anything about this child having two mommies, because for as smart as she is, she can be remarkably unobservant. Or perhaps she is just accepting, the way children are--she likes him and plays veterinarian with him at recess and that is fine with me.

But the kid has a little brother, who is Tallulah's age. And Tallulah, unlike her sister, has street smarts-- she notices things.

Tallulah: mommy, let me tell you something. Sometimes, people can have two moms. Like ______ and________. They have two mommies.

Me: yes, that is true.

That should have been it. But, curiosity got the better of me. I know my 4 year old child, my child who loves and adores me all the time, even when I don't deserve it, and I felt I knew what her answer would be, but I wanted to ask her anyway....

Me: so what do you think is better-- to have two mommies, or a mommy and a daddy.

Tallulah(in a tone that says duh): two mommies!

Duh.