Greetings and thoughts

Hello. It's been a while. I've been a restaurant widow, doing everything by myself and waiting for my husband to come home to keep him company and so I am exhausted with no time for coherent thoughts, let alone put them to iPad, as it were. But last night h pissed me off royally by saying that one of his wine glasses that I had left on the drying board was dirty, when I had washed it and then he proceeded to spend ten minutes washing it and I thought " if this dumb dumb thinks I have 10 minutes to wash his f ing glass...." and was filled with a murderous rage for about 5 minutes, until I had a bless his little heart moment and moved on. But consequently, I don't feel like waiting up for him so I am writing instead.

We have discovered the Cosby show. I have rediscovered it. And I makes me feel nostalgic and it makes the girls happy. They squeal with delight and Annabelle says "oh theo!" Or "Rudy is so cute!" It makes me sad too. Sad because there is no show like this on tv anymore. Sad because of the way adults currently interact with their children-- which is to say that they don't-- and you can really see this if you watch one episode of this show. Of course, it is a fictional show, but it was real in some ways, like a time capsule of what we did when we were at our very best.

And it makes me sad that I didn't marry cliff. Cliff who is so romantic and loving. Who feeds Claire pears, dances in the living room with her and makes their kids laugh. Sad that my husband gets annoyed with the way I wash dishes.

I didn't marry cliff. I married h. Who just came home after working crazy hours and brought me my favorite dish from my favorite restaurant.

Maybe we all get to dance off the stage into the sunset. Maybe we all get our own kind of happy.