allergies

As a parent, you learn to ignore things, such as "Mama, I want to look it at that book," especially when it is repeated 100 times at bedtime. This is a learned parental defense mechanism in order to keep you sane. Now, you'll snap out of ignore mode immediately if it changes to "Mama I need to go poo-poo."

I didn't have too much trouble adapting to this behavior becasue I have been living with Hyphen and his various health complaints, both real and imagined for 13 years. One day I actually decided to pay attention to his complaints and I wrote them all down. They included, but were not limited to: chapped ass, weird mosquito bite on ass, ear pressure, toe nail pain, teeth hurt, vomit in mouth while brushing teeth, eyes hurt (feel hot). The next day they included: coughing/ lougees, glue eye, red eye, weak urine stream, "dirty farts," constricted layrnx, constipation, various mental issue, throat killing him and the feeling of a fine layer of dust on his entire body.

See how you could tune this stuff out after a while? The fine layer of dust has been a complaint that he has had over the years. For a while I started to file that under the various mental issues category. Until I ate some bad shrimp, that made me break out into horrible hives that subsequently sent me to the allergist. They made me fill out a 10 page long survey that had all sorts of questions on it, and while none of the questions dealt with the issue of dirty farts, they did address things like "do you wake in the morning and need to cough," and "do you sneeze at night." As I was filling this out and answering no to every question, I started to think that Hyphen would answer yes to every question. I came home and told him about the survey. And one year and several really bad sinus infections later, he went to see the allergist. Actually it was thirteen years later, because right after we got married I recall how every night he would start to sneeze and would sneeze literally 50 times in a row. I also seem to recall vacations we would take with friends where they would hear him coughing and hacking--while they were downstairs and we were upstairs. I also recall being in the bedroom, talking on the phone with my sister and her saying "Is that H in the bathroom hocking up lougees--good lord how do you live with that?" But the point is, he went.

And guess what? He is allergic to 29 things, including pecan trees, dust mites and cockroaches.

And also guess what? His allergist said for people with dust mite allergies, feeling like there is a layer of dust on their body is a very common complaint.

Now, do I feel bad for making fun of him all these years? No. Because if I ever sneezed 50 times in a row, I would immediately call the doctor and tell them, "hey doc, I just sneezed 50 times, what gives?"

So the allergy msytery is solved. Now onto the really important matters, like cholesterol.

And, in case you are wondering, for me, it was just some bad shrimp.