a Study in Contrasts at the Texas Nail Spa on Ella and 43rd

Today, I went and had my nails done. I haven't done this in a while, as I now regard a manicure as a luxury, but every once in a while, it is okay to have a treat. There were two other girls in the shop having their nails done. Well, I suppose they were not really girls, but they were certainly not ladies and not really women. I listened to their conversation (they were friends) with amusement. Summary follows:

1. They were in their early twenties.
2. They work at Hooters.
3. Football season was coming and would be good to them from a financial standpoint (the phrase financial standpoint being mine, not theirs).
4. Relationships lasting more than a month were boring to them.
5. They were on facebook and updated their status during their manicure and were delighted on the people who immediately responded and called those people stalkers.
6. They wore and admired each others' really short shorts from urban outfitters.
7. The one next to me was painting her nails green with some kind of design on them (my rudimentary knowledge of Vietnamese let me know I wasn't the only one who thought that was really weird).
8. They could really stand to go to a party tonight.
9. One had a car payment that was killing her.
10. After their nails were done they were going to an aerobics class which one still had to register for, thankfully she had a phone with a touch screen, the touch screen being a somewhat important factor in the registration process.
11. The best part about the class was that while you could wear tennis shoes in the gym, once the class began, you had to wear high heels.
12. They needed to get in shape for Halloween which was a month and a half away and were hoping Hooters could work something out with 24 hour fitness where services could be exchanged, but on this point they were not that optimistic, because people who work at 24 hour fitness don't really eat at Hooters.

In short, they were my worst nightmare and what I think is wrong with America. And then I realized...

1. I have achieved the advanced age of 36.
2 I am a stay at home mom.
3. September 26 will mark the anniversary of the first date in what has become an 18 year relationship with the same man.
4. I like to see pictures of my friends' kids on facebook.
5. I was wearing paint-stained sweatpants and a maternity t-shirt.
6. I was paying good money to have my nails painted the same color as they naturally are.
7. I haven't been to a party in a really long time.
8. I drive a mini-van that smells like sour milk.
9. I can't figure out how to use my touch screen phone.
10. After my manicure, I was going to pick up my two year old and go to the park and I count that as aerobic exercise.
11. I am excited about decorating my mantel with black candles and orange jelly beans for Halloween and making my daughter the "happy pumpkin" costume she has requested.

In short, I was their worst nightmare.