mother's day vignettes

1. Taking care of an almost 6 month old.

I have never taken care of an almost 6 month old. When Annabelle was just 3 months old, my maternity leave ended and she went to daycare. She was there every day from 7 in the morning until 6 at night. Miss Mary and Miss Gloria took care of Annabelle. We picked her up played with her for a bit, ate dinner and put her to bed. We saw her for about 3 hours a day. On the weekend, we would run errands and play and take care of her together. So, I didn't realize how much work babies are, especially after they get over their sleepy newborn stage and are in the "let's play" phase. It is all day long. Eat, change diapers, play, nap, play with other kid during nap, cook, clean. Scurry around after everyone is in bed and try to put the house in order. Repeat. I also didn't realize how fast it goes by. We went on a walk the other night, and I saw a mom walking with a newborn strapped to her, and I realized, I could no longer strap Tallulah to my body like that anymore, she is too big, and I was so tremendously sad. And it happened so quickly. She can sit up now. One day she couldn't sit. The next day she sat for a few minutes and then would plop forward. By the afternoon she knew to push herself up with her arms. I got to see it happen. With Annabelle, we would just notice over the weekend "oh wow, she is sitting up," or "wow look at that, she is crawling" and we would tell Miss Mary and Miss Gloria on Monday, "she can sit up now!" or "she can crawl, it is so cute" and they would just smile, and I would realize that they were waiting for her to do it in front of us--they had already seen it. But not this time, this time I am watching it happen, and I am amazed all over again.

2. Getting grandmothered at the home depot

My conversation with the check out elderly lady at the home depot:

old lady: oh what a cute baby, how old is she, should she be sitting up in the cart like that?

Me: Actually she is almost 6 months old

Old lady: she is tiny! (looks at me with concern) she is so small!

Me: well, my mother-in-law is about this tall (gesture to my waist), so we make small babies.

Old lady: well she is cute. Now, what is that on her eye?

me: that is her birthmark.

Old lady(astounded): really? I have never seen one like that.

Me: yeah, it is on her top lid too, and when her eyes are closed it looks like a heart.

Old lady(bossy): is it going to fade or are you going to get it removed?

Me: well, it has faded a bit because it used to be almost black, but it seems to have slowed down a bit.

Old lady in baby talk voice to Tallulah: But she is cute just the same. Yes she is. She is so pretty.

Old lady in serious voice to me: there is something in her a eye. A little piece of something. (I glance down and attempt to wipe one of her eyes) No, it's in her other eye...

I realize she is talking about the chunk of sleep that had been in her eye the entire morning and I began to wonder what it is about old ladies and their kleenex/boogie wiping obsession and was wondering if my mom had somehow body swapped with this lady for a brief second, when she handed me my receipt and said with a smile, "Happy mother's day." And I said "happy mother's day to you too," because it was obvious--she is someone's mom.

3. Heartache

Annabelle has a little friend at school. Her name is E_______. When I pick her up from school and ask her who she plays with She says "with E______" and I say "did you play with anyone else?" And she says "no, just with E_______" The teacher told me that they love each other and from the minute Annabelle arrives they find each other and play and gab all day and there is no room for anyone else in their little world. What do they play, you ask? "We play SHARKS!!!!! The other kids are sharks and E______ is the captain. I am the lookout and we [shot] them down!!!!!" But this Thursday when I picked her up she said, "I am sad. E______ doesn't want to be my best friend anymore." I made some more inquiries and found out that Annabelle tried to play with E______ but she just walked away and played with another girl. And Annabelle played by herself. I felt like someone had kicked me in the gut. I considered calling the school and finding out what happened, I considered calling E_______'s mom and demanding to know what the hell was wrong with her daughter, I was frantic for a minute. My happy daughter, who can make friends with a block, who doesn't know a stranger and who loves E______, was shunned. And then I called my mom. She listened for a bit. And then she said quietly, "yes, your children will break your heart many times. This won't be the last time." Then she proceeded to tell me some long and boring story about how I missed out on gifted and talented by just one point, "I mean, I know they have to have cut-offs, but it was just one point and that awful red-headed Lori Walters made it...." and I stopped listening.

3. my mother's day blessing to you

Happy mother's day to all the moms out there. May your diaper bag always have wipes for the blow outs, bandaids for the boo-boo's, and stale goldfish in a zippie bag for the snack emergencies. May your refrigerator always be covered with magnets and artwork and have a Popsicles in the freezer. May your minivan be filled with dirty sippy cups and spilled milkshakes and glitter. May your bed always have room enough in the middle of the night for a little one and may you have patience enough the next morning to cuddle up and watch dinosaur train. May your children's hands always be sticky, may they always smell like sunshine, may they dance through the sprinkler in their underwear and oh, that you can enjoy it all, though you may be tired, though you may be weary, may you enjoy it all. May you always get sweet coos and smiles, and may you always be given the last Ariel bandaid to cover your boo-boo. May you be loved and adored by the people you love and adore the most.

Happy Mother's Day.