My kids love to hear stories about when I was a kid, and they especially like to hear stories about their crazy aunt, or "auntie," as they refer to her. So a while back I told them about the time when auntie had really stinky feet and when she was mad at us, would torture us by taking off her shoes and letting the smell permeate our air space.
Never tell a story like this to a kid who doesn't forget stuff...,,
Fast forward to this year, when it rained and rained and Annabelle, for reasons only she knows, decided to walk in every rain puddle there ever was in her nice school shoes, the ones she wears every day, without socks.
Then, fast forward a little more to this week. I am in the car and I smell something dreadful.
"Something in here smells like death," I say, more to myself than to anyone else.
Tallulah, who is looking at a book replies, without looking up, " it's Annabelle's feet."
" oh my god! Annabelle! Do something about that!"
" Ok!" She snorts and then squeals with laughter as she sticks her feet as close to my face as possible.
The smell could gag a maggot, seriously. And I am dying from the odor and about to pee in my pants because Audrey did this same thing to my mom, this same exact thing, almost 30 years ago and that memory and my current situation are making me laugh hysterically.
It's the circle of life, well, at least in our crazy family.
However, as beautiful as the circle is, I think I will refrain from telling her about the butt juice story.....
Saturday, November 29, 2014
Thursday, November 6, 2014
Why I haven't felt like blogging
So I write all the time in my head, but by the end of the day, I am simply too tired to write anything down, and lately I have this writer's block because something horrible that happened in our family.
You see, for two glorious weeks, we had kittens. And they were adorable and we all loved them, even Hyphen. They liked to climb up his pants when he cooked and it cracked him up.
But the dog didn't. She was banished to life outside, because they were simply too small to be around her. Plus the day we brought them home, she pointed at them, like they were a duck. The damn dog has never been on a hunt and can lie outside surrounded by squirrels and birds and not flick a whisker. But she points at our tiny kittens
I think you know where this is headed.
Tallulah loved them the most. Everyday she would put on pants, so their tiny claws wouldn't hurt her legs and hold them for hours. She loved to watch tom and jerry with them. "Look at me, mama! I'm covered in cats! "
Then one awful day, one terrible awful day, we rode our bikes to school. And when we went to pick up Annabelle we rode our bikes again. And, as is my habit when I ride bikes, I left the back door unlocked. And our dog, who is so dumb that if you threw a blanket in her head would just live with it on her head, opened the back door, because when she really wants to, she can open the back door, despite her immense stupidity. And she found the kittens who were cuddled on the couch together and she killed them.
I fucking hate that dog for that.
We discovered that the dog wasn't in the yard and the girls were panicked, like she got out of the yard, and then we went inside to get the leash to look for her and she came to us, and then we went running to find the kittens and they were dead.
I screamed that I hated the dog and that was the last day we would have her, which upset the girls. Annabelle said "you mean after all that, we have to lose the dog too?" H blamed me, and I blamed me, but truthfully it was a horrible accident and another truth--it was bound to happen. The damn dog was used to having her run of the house, and she couldn't understand why she was outside all the time. We had been trying to introduce them gradually but she would just shake uncontrollably whenever she saw them. Damn dog.
We told the girls she was just playing too rough with them. Maybe. For the next few days, she was searching all over the house. Sniffing everywhere, in places she doesn't normally go (because she is a moron and is afraid of certain parts of the house) high and low, looking for something. I think it was the kittens. Maybe she wanted to play with them, or just eat them. Who knows.
What kills me is that a day hasn't passed where Tallulah hasn't said "I miss the kittens." She says it when Annabelle isn't around because Annabelle has made it very clear that she never wants to think about it again. Tallulah contents herself with a stuffed kitten that she holds and pets when she watches tom and jerry. And, because she has this enormous capacity to love, she still loves on the dog every day. Every single day. She lies on her, she shares her food with her, she strokes her ears. She talks to her, she fusses at her. She loves her.
The dog is getting positively fat from all the Halloween candy Tallulah is sneaking to her. Like I don't know.... ( no more okay? Okay, dog? Shhh, she's coming. Last piece, okay? )
Last night she was a little sick. She threw up and was just poorly today. Probably too much candy. Today was the first day I petted her since the incident. Because I really don't like her. Now, though, I don't know how my poor baby will take it on the sad, sad, day when she dies.
The only reason she is still here is because they love her so much. And she has a keen awareness of their whereabouts at all times. When they are in the front yard, she barks hysterically. When there is a thunderstorm, she runs to find them, and if it is at night she whines until I let her into their room where she will sleep between their beds.
Labs live 10 to 12 years. We are on year 11. During this time she has been a pest. From the first day we had her and she pooped in her own kennel 5 minutes after H let her out. She never let snowball, our old dog, now gone on to the other side, get any attention. She is a pig. A chicken killer, a cat killer. She wakes up every morning at 4:45on the dot and whines to get out and then 20 minutes later barks to come in. That's 4:45 in the a.m. And let's not forget when Tallulah was 6 months old and couldn't sleep through the night and Annabelle was also waking up every night because she had peed all over the bed or thrown up (allergies which make her cough until she vomits) and it felt like I was up at all hours and the dog decided that she too would get in on the act and need to go out at 1 in the morning. Let's not forget that glorious period that lasted until Tallulah started sleeping through the night, three months later.
The hamburger buns that H got from central market special for our party? Gobbled up before the party started. Right off the kitchen table. Bag included. Annabelle's heart candy necklace. Eaten in one bite. Countless sippy cups destroyed. She ate part of my sister's diaper bag. And just this weekend she got into my purse, scattering its contents all over the place, munching on tampons and lipsticks. I wish I were making this crap up....
We are on year 11. She gets up slowly now to amble over to her dog bed. She prefers to sleep on my Ethan Allen sofa. I remember what my neighbor said when Annabelle was first born and she was temporarily banished to the outside and wouldn't stop barking. I told him my mom wanted me to drop the dog off on I10. Perra afrentosa, she calls her. "610 is closer," he said without batting an eye.
And I am so sad about the cats. I really loved them. I forgot what it feels like to really love an animal. The joy they bring. It's a joy, not a burden.
Really, though, to remember, I need look no further than the living room carpet while we watch our tv show. There is the dog, cuddled up to Tallulah. Two peas in a furry flea pod. Tallulah loves her. She really loves her.
And that love is the only reason why she is still here.
You see, for two glorious weeks, we had kittens. And they were adorable and we all loved them, even Hyphen. They liked to climb up his pants when he cooked and it cracked him up.
But the dog didn't. She was banished to life outside, because they were simply too small to be around her. Plus the day we brought them home, she pointed at them, like they were a duck. The damn dog has never been on a hunt and can lie outside surrounded by squirrels and birds and not flick a whisker. But she points at our tiny kittens
I think you know where this is headed.
Tallulah loved them the most. Everyday she would put on pants, so their tiny claws wouldn't hurt her legs and hold them for hours. She loved to watch tom and jerry with them. "Look at me, mama! I'm covered in cats! "
Then one awful day, one terrible awful day, we rode our bikes to school. And when we went to pick up Annabelle we rode our bikes again. And, as is my habit when I ride bikes, I left the back door unlocked. And our dog, who is so dumb that if you threw a blanket in her head would just live with it on her head, opened the back door, because when she really wants to, she can open the back door, despite her immense stupidity. And she found the kittens who were cuddled on the couch together and she killed them.
I fucking hate that dog for that.
We discovered that the dog wasn't in the yard and the girls were panicked, like she got out of the yard, and then we went inside to get the leash to look for her and she came to us, and then we went running to find the kittens and they were dead.
I screamed that I hated the dog and that was the last day we would have her, which upset the girls. Annabelle said "you mean after all that, we have to lose the dog too?" H blamed me, and I blamed me, but truthfully it was a horrible accident and another truth--it was bound to happen. The damn dog was used to having her run of the house, and she couldn't understand why she was outside all the time. We had been trying to introduce them gradually but she would just shake uncontrollably whenever she saw them. Damn dog.
We told the girls she was just playing too rough with them. Maybe. For the next few days, she was searching all over the house. Sniffing everywhere, in places she doesn't normally go (because she is a moron and is afraid of certain parts of the house) high and low, looking for something. I think it was the kittens. Maybe she wanted to play with them, or just eat them. Who knows.
What kills me is that a day hasn't passed where Tallulah hasn't said "I miss the kittens." She says it when Annabelle isn't around because Annabelle has made it very clear that she never wants to think about it again. Tallulah contents herself with a stuffed kitten that she holds and pets when she watches tom and jerry. And, because she has this enormous capacity to love, she still loves on the dog every day. Every single day. She lies on her, she shares her food with her, she strokes her ears. She talks to her, she fusses at her. She loves her.
The dog is getting positively fat from all the Halloween candy Tallulah is sneaking to her. Like I don't know.... ( no more okay? Okay, dog? Shhh, she's coming. Last piece, okay? )
Last night she was a little sick. She threw up and was just poorly today. Probably too much candy. Today was the first day I petted her since the incident. Because I really don't like her. Now, though, I don't know how my poor baby will take it on the sad, sad, day when she dies.
The only reason she is still here is because they love her so much. And she has a keen awareness of their whereabouts at all times. When they are in the front yard, she barks hysterically. When there is a thunderstorm, she runs to find them, and if it is at night she whines until I let her into their room where she will sleep between their beds.
Labs live 10 to 12 years. We are on year 11. During this time she has been a pest. From the first day we had her and she pooped in her own kennel 5 minutes after H let her out. She never let snowball, our old dog, now gone on to the other side, get any attention. She is a pig. A chicken killer, a cat killer. She wakes up every morning at 4:45on the dot and whines to get out and then 20 minutes later barks to come in. That's 4:45 in the a.m. And let's not forget when Tallulah was 6 months old and couldn't sleep through the night and Annabelle was also waking up every night because she had peed all over the bed or thrown up (allergies which make her cough until she vomits) and it felt like I was up at all hours and the dog decided that she too would get in on the act and need to go out at 1 in the morning. Let's not forget that glorious period that lasted until Tallulah started sleeping through the night, three months later.
The hamburger buns that H got from central market special for our party? Gobbled up before the party started. Right off the kitchen table. Bag included. Annabelle's heart candy necklace. Eaten in one bite. Countless sippy cups destroyed. She ate part of my sister's diaper bag. And just this weekend she got into my purse, scattering its contents all over the place, munching on tampons and lipsticks. I wish I were making this crap up....
We are on year 11. She gets up slowly now to amble over to her dog bed. She prefers to sleep on my Ethan Allen sofa. I remember what my neighbor said when Annabelle was first born and she was temporarily banished to the outside and wouldn't stop barking. I told him my mom wanted me to drop the dog off on I10. Perra afrentosa, she calls her. "610 is closer," he said without batting an eye.
And I am so sad about the cats. I really loved them. I forgot what it feels like to really love an animal. The joy they bring. It's a joy, not a burden.
Really, though, to remember, I need look no further than the living room carpet while we watch our tv show. There is the dog, cuddled up to Tallulah. Two peas in a furry flea pod. Tallulah loves her. She really loves her.
And that love is the only reason why she is still here.
Friday, September 19, 2014
Lyssa Castellanos and the Great Impromptu Pool Party and how it made me a better mom
Last January, I got a text from one of the moms in my posse. It read: Henry told me that Annabelle is having a pet show at her house on Saturday. That she is passing out a sign up sheet and is having a meeting for decorations and that he needs to be at your house on Saturday morning at 9 to help set up. Just thought you should know.
Yeah thanks, because I did not know.
And it made me chuckle because it reminded me of my family's favorite Lyssa Castellanos Story, a story that 30 plus years later still makes us laugh. And it goes like this:
My parents get a call one Saturday. It is Lyssa. She is about 7. She says that her family is having a pool party and that we are invited. For some reason, my mom decides to call Magda to see what time and what to bring. Turns out, Madga did not know, but told us to come at 6 and to bring chips. We did, and so did everyone else she invited and it was an awesome party.
As a kid, I went to the party and had fun. As an adult child, I thought this was funny. I though--that's Lyssa, always so social, always the life of the party. But as a parent I think of this story in a different way. Here was a child who was confident. Here was a child who was comfortable enough with her family and her place in her family, that she felt she could invite people over to her house. She didn't need to ask. Of course it would be ok. Here were parents who knew their child and valued their child for who she was and decided to throw a party.
For who she was.
So with this as our guide, we decided to go for it. They made signs, we bought trophies, there was a set up meeting and then-- the pet show. Goldfish and animal crackers were served. We had a few dogs, a hermit crab, a beta fish, and one kid who brought an oragami eagle. Henry was the emcee and judge and it was clear to everyone that he is the next Chris Marrou. There was a parade of pets and everyone had to introduce their own pet and tell fun facts about it.
The decision was easy. It took me about one second to text back, yes come on Saturday at three. And I thought of Lyssa and her family. I thought how social Annabelle is, and, not to brag, but I gave ourselves parent attaboys for this.
What a joy childhood is, to live it and relive it. Through the prism of memory and through magic of your daughter's eyes.
Yeah thanks, because I did not know.
And it made me chuckle because it reminded me of my family's favorite Lyssa Castellanos Story, a story that 30 plus years later still makes us laugh. And it goes like this:
My parents get a call one Saturday. It is Lyssa. She is about 7. She says that her family is having a pool party and that we are invited. For some reason, my mom decides to call Magda to see what time and what to bring. Turns out, Madga did not know, but told us to come at 6 and to bring chips. We did, and so did everyone else she invited and it was an awesome party.
As a kid, I went to the party and had fun. As an adult child, I thought this was funny. I though--that's Lyssa, always so social, always the life of the party. But as a parent I think of this story in a different way. Here was a child who was confident. Here was a child who was comfortable enough with her family and her place in her family, that she felt she could invite people over to her house. She didn't need to ask. Of course it would be ok. Here were parents who knew their child and valued their child for who she was and decided to throw a party.
For who she was.
So with this as our guide, we decided to go for it. They made signs, we bought trophies, there was a set up meeting and then-- the pet show. Goldfish and animal crackers were served. We had a few dogs, a hermit crab, a beta fish, and one kid who brought an oragami eagle. Henry was the emcee and judge and it was clear to everyone that he is the next Chris Marrou. There was a parade of pets and everyone had to introduce their own pet and tell fun facts about it.
The decision was easy. It took me about one second to text back, yes come on Saturday at three. And I thought of Lyssa and her family. I thought how social Annabelle is, and, not to brag, but I gave ourselves parent attaboys for this.
What a joy childhood is, to live it and relive it. Through the prism of memory and through magic of your daughter's eyes.
Friday, September 12, 2014
Minor concerns, irritations and triumphs
1. I feel that I may have lost my mosquito immunity. And in houston, that could be devastating. You see, I am. Someone who can be outside, especially if I am outside with hyphen or Tallulah and not get one bite. You read that right, I am not above using my toddler daughter as bait. They land on me and fly away. But then last Saturday I was bitten and have been continuously ever since. I am deet-ly troubled over this.
2. We have an insanely busy day on Saturday, which includes, but is not limited to celebrating my friend's 40th birthday at some dreadful 80s club where grown up people decide to wear fishnet gloves and midriff t shirts that say Frankie says relax on them. Our friends are excited about this and to me this means I need new friends. Because at 930 I want to be in bed or watching outlander on the starz network with a glass of wine. My mother has accused me of being boring. That's fine. I will own that. I just won't own a big neon bow on my teased out hair. Grrr...
3 we just came back from Annabelle's open house where we got to know her teacher a little more. She is amazing. We really lucked out in getting her. She gave us homework. To write am essay about our daughter. Each of us has to do it. Hieu has to write something. Cue run on sentences and prepositional phrases. For him. For me the use of the word "and" to start a sentence and typos. But you knew that already.... Elipses...
2. We have an insanely busy day on Saturday, which includes, but is not limited to celebrating my friend's 40th birthday at some dreadful 80s club where grown up people decide to wear fishnet gloves and midriff t shirts that say Frankie says relax on them. Our friends are excited about this and to me this means I need new friends. Because at 930 I want to be in bed or watching outlander on the starz network with a glass of wine. My mother has accused me of being boring. That's fine. I will own that. I just won't own a big neon bow on my teased out hair. Grrr...
3 we just came back from Annabelle's open house where we got to know her teacher a little more. She is amazing. We really lucked out in getting her. She gave us homework. To write am essay about our daughter. Each of us has to do it. Hieu has to write something. Cue run on sentences and prepositional phrases. For him. For me the use of the word "and" to start a sentence and typos. But you knew that already.... Elipses...
Sunday, August 24, 2014
Mi gente
Today at church, when they asked if there were any guests or visitors, I noticed a lady waving like she a local celebrity in parade and I chuckled about it. After mass, Father Clint invited us all over to the West hall for a BBQ sandwich and fellowship. Free lunch after church? Hells yeah!
So when we went to the hall, I got my family their sandwiches and then I saw the lady and I went over to say hi. And as soon as I saw her smile, and heard her accent, I knew she was from San Antonio. She was turning 94 on August 27 and was so happy to be in Houston and with her family. Happy to be alive, happy to be a child of the God of love.
So I introduced her to the other San Antonian ex pat who is turning 40 on August 27th. And there we were, three San Antonians who somehow managed to find each other in the crowd after mass.
If you were to ask me to describe my hometown, I would say that San Antonio is a place where if you are standing in line for the port-o-potty at the battle of flowers parade, someone will say "here, mija," and give you toilet paper.
I think it was Dan Cook that said if you lived in San Antonio for 6 months, you would never leave, but somehow, for some reason, that I can't really remember any more, we did.
You get to love Houston, you really do. It's green, it's beautiful and there is so much to do and see and eat. You get to know and love your neighborhood and your friends, and some days, it even feels like a small town. But you have these moments, when things are very clear, when you see what you are missing, and it is more than a raspa in front of the Alamo on a hot day--it is the spirit, the heart, el corazon. It is almost ineffable.
Almost.
It is the people, mi gente, that make it a place you never leave.
So when we went to the hall, I got my family their sandwiches and then I saw the lady and I went over to say hi. And as soon as I saw her smile, and heard her accent, I knew she was from San Antonio. She was turning 94 on August 27 and was so happy to be in Houston and with her family. Happy to be alive, happy to be a child of the God of love.
So I introduced her to the other San Antonian ex pat who is turning 40 on August 27th. And there we were, three San Antonians who somehow managed to find each other in the crowd after mass.
If you were to ask me to describe my hometown, I would say that San Antonio is a place where if you are standing in line for the port-o-potty at the battle of flowers parade, someone will say "here, mija," and give you toilet paper.
I think it was Dan Cook that said if you lived in San Antonio for 6 months, you would never leave, but somehow, for some reason, that I can't really remember any more, we did.
You get to love Houston, you really do. It's green, it's beautiful and there is so much to do and see and eat. You get to know and love your neighborhood and your friends, and some days, it even feels like a small town. But you have these moments, when things are very clear, when you see what you are missing, and it is more than a raspa in front of the Alamo on a hot day--it is the spirit, the heart, el corazon. It is almost ineffable.
Almost.
It is the people, mi gente, that make it a place you never leave.
Wednesday, July 16, 2014
Scrapbook of a meal and a sewing project, and a friend and summer desserts
What Tallulah thinks of a dinner of broiled salmon, Carmelized zucchini, and wild rice with kale, with our customary glass of water to drink.....
"The only thing I like about this dinner is the water."
Tallulah on sewing:
Mom: Annabelle come here. I need your help. I am confused about what the lining is (Annabelle and my mom are working on Barbie sleeping bags for her first sleepover this upcoming Friday). Aren't we confused Tallulah?
Tallulah ( quietly cutting a piece of scrap fabric). Yes. Well, you guys are confused, I'm not.
Tallulah's new friend Penelope:
"Where is my friend. You know, pinnochio?"
Tallulah on frozen treats:
"Can I have a popsy-ble?"
Three and a half is a delightful age.
"The only thing I like about this dinner is the water."
Tallulah on sewing:
Mom: Annabelle come here. I need your help. I am confused about what the lining is (Annabelle and my mom are working on Barbie sleeping bags for her first sleepover this upcoming Friday). Aren't we confused Tallulah?
Tallulah ( quietly cutting a piece of scrap fabric). Yes. Well, you guys are confused, I'm not.
Tallulah's new friend Penelope:
"Where is my friend. You know, pinnochio?"
Tallulah on frozen treats:
"Can I have a popsy-ble?"
Three and a half is a delightful age.
Saturday, July 5, 2014
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