the predator bear

this is an actual conversation that I just had with my mom less than an hour ago....

Mom: "oh, I was watching the news and they did a story on the predator bear."

Me: "what is that?"

Mom: "He is from Japan. He is a cartoon character but they also made him into one of those furry costumes people put on. And in Japan when girls take baths they all take them together in a house and they are naked and he followed them in and molested them. And now they are selling the costume here and he walks up to kids and takes pictures of them and it is terrible. And that is too bad because I love to give the Puffy Taco (mascot of the San Antonio minor league team) a hug.

Now what I should of said was "oh yes, that is too bad." But instead I thought, okay, "I'll put a quarter in and see where this goes"

Me: "I am confused. Does the bear molest these children?"

Mom: "yes"

Me: "but I thought he took pictures of them."

Mom: "he does"

Me: "does he sequester them and then molest them and take their pictures?"

Mom: "he gives them a hug and touches them."

Me: "over the clothes?"

Mom: Ay, I don't know, just keep annabelle away from all bears."

Me: "okay."

Now here are the options I am now considering

a. the news in San Antonio is terrible and reported on a story that was completely non-sensical.

Having seen the news in San Antonio recently, I put this option at about 35 percent.

b. My mom was only paying half attention to the story and got things mixed up.

Having had a 36 year relationship with this woman, I put this option at about 60 percent.

c. The third option is something Hyphen suggested when I repeated this story to him--My mom is smoking pot.

I put this at 5 percent, but only because she is from that time, however it should be lower, because the only thing even remotely naughty that she did was get so drunk one Saturday night that she was still drunk the next morning when her sister and her brother in law came to pick her up for mass.

At least that I know about....