Sunday go to meetin'

These pictures represent what Annabelle and Tallulah look like when we go to church. Cute right? Almost angelic--I am not sure if you can see, but Annabelle has a crown braid on her head. Very lovely. But, beauty is as beauty does, and these beauties do whatever the hell they please during church.

I shouldn't complain about Annabelle, being 4 she is somewhat compliant. She goes to the children's mass and after it is over and she joins "big church," she just squirms a lot, and plays quietly-- most of the time. But Tallulah is another kettle of fish.

When Annabelle was Tallulah's age, we would go to the cryroom for most of the mass. And I would get annoyed because there would be all of these other badly behaved families of kids. And I would think--geez, make your kids behave. Ahhh.... the snobby thoughts of a mom with an only child.

Tallulah squirms, talks, plays, gets fussy, throws her sippy cup, takes everything out of my purse, and I mean everything and throws it around for all to see. I could hardly wait until she turned one and I could send her off to the church nursery and enjoy mass. The problem with the nursery is that now, when she has to come to church, she behaves even worse, because she is never at the Mass.

To wit: today--they were short on volunteers at the nursery, so I took her with me to mass. Things were actually going well and I was surprised because a few short weeks ago, her behavior at the Castroville Saturday service was so horrible my mom and I had to go to the Beverage Barn after and get a smirnoff ice to calm our nerves. But by the end of mass, she had had enough and started to make these really guttural noises of derision. This made Annabelle laugh, hysterically and uncontrollably, which made me mortified and in my mortified state, I tried to slink down to the bottom of the pew so no one would see me-- all the while threatening my children with various forms of punishment-- which made Tallulah make more noise which caused Annabelle to laugh harder which made everyone in my pew and the one behind me start laughing. When Church was over, a man patted my arm and assured me he had "been there, many, many times."

Perhaps. But he wasn't at St. Louis Catholic Church in Castroville a few weeks prior. You see, dumping tampons all over the floor was not enough for her. Tallulah decided to express her displeasure with the length of the homily by exiting our pew, walking into the aisle, squatting down, grunting, and doing her business. Right there before God and everybody.

And that, my friends, is why we violated the Texas open container law.