the first words out of my mouth when Tallulah was born were "what is that on her face?" They had handed me this baby covered in blood and grey goup and there was this black mark on her eye. I kept asking about it when they washed her off and no none knew, but someone said, "it might be birth trauma, or it could be a birth mark." The next morning, it appeared to still be there and hadn't faded and everyone was calling it a birthmark. And some people (mom) were already worried that kids were going to make fun of her in school and told me to get it removed. That night, as I was nursing her and she was sleeping, I noticed that it look just like a heart. The room was quiet for the first time that day and I was holding this peaceful girl in my arms, and she had a heart on her face and I thought it was beautiful and I hoped it never ever faded away.
The next day the room was noisy again. The entire family, parents, in-laws, sister and husband were in there when Dr. C______ came in to check on Tallulah. He said he had never seen a birthmark like that in all his years of practice and that it was very unusual, being both under her eye lid and on top if her eye lid. He answered my mom's numerous questions about its removal as best he could and patiently listened to how everyone in my family has a birthmark, but not like that one. The I told him I thought it was kind of cute. He said he was happy to hear that, and the nurses told him how I seemed upset by it, and I told him "well I was, but it looks like..." "a heart," he finished," I think it means she will have a lot of love in her life." And that was where we left it.
The about a month later I ventured out to the grocery store with just Tallulah and the questions began. They usually go like this: "what a beautiful baby... what happened to her eye?" or, "what is wrong with her face?" And I always say, "It is a birthmark. The doctor has never seen one like it and if her eye is closed it looks like a heart." I say it proudly or lovingly and hope to make them see the beauty in it, and sometimes they do. Sometimes, they say nothing.
Until one day, I was at a nail salon. T was asleep. And the lady doing my nails peeked at her and said "what a beautiful birthmark! It looks like a heart." "yes, it does," I said, "thank you."
I have since learned from a lady in the TJ Max check out line that in Spanish, they are called a "lunar." As in "ay mira que lunar hermosita!"
Several African American ladies knew immediately what it was and thought it was beautiful.
My bikini wax lady at the La Paz day spa knew what it was.
And the South African lady security guard at Toy R Us loved it too.
I guess what I am trying to say is that ethnic people always see it as a birthmark. White people think she has a black eye. I am not sure why. Could be that ethnic people have more birthmarks than white folks and recognize it for what it is. Could be that white people view beauty differently than other people and see it as something wrong with her face. Could just be a coincidence. I am not sure, and I don't care, but it is so consistently identified as a birthmark by non-white people that it has got to be something that some anthropologist has an explanation for. Just not this one.
What I will tell Tallulah is that we live in a big, beautiful heart shaped world that is filled with love and all she has to do is find it.
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