me do

Stuff I am thinking and saying when the "me do" hits while we are trying to get in the van in the rain

1.  Well actually, you are not tall enough to open the door, so no, you no do.
2.  Even if you were tall enough, you lack the requisite physical coordination to open the van door.

okay, my hair is getting wet and it looked super cute, let me just speed this along with the old magic remote trick...

"Oh, wow, you opened the door!  What a big girl you are!"
"Ok, get in your seat Tallulah, let me buckle you."

"No, me do!"

"Ok, you do the top."

"No me do top, me do bottom."

"Sweetie, my hair is getting wet" (get the f!@# in the car!!!!!!!!!!!!)

"Need help mama,"

"ok angel baby,"

(of course you need help --like you could do the bottom buckle--seriously?  Annabelle can barely do it--  my mom can't even do that--and I am totally going to need to re-chi my hair and everyone knows you cannot chi on a humid day, so now my hair is just going to look like this.  great.)

"No, you cannot have my keys.  Get back in the seat.  No, you cannot put it in the car."

"ME DO, ME DO, MEEE DOOO!!!!!!!!!!!"

(I am the mom, I am the mom)

"These keys are not a toy--get in your seat before I count to three or I will spank you.  One, two--Tallulah...I don't want to spank you..."

"Me do, mama."

(the days are long but the years are short, the days are long but the years are short, someday I will miss this- oh wait--no I won't, someday, I will be old and dry with dry straight hair!!!!  and I will be driving a sedan!!!!!  what does h say, "the days are long, the years are long?"  who cares?  he is a crazy  a-hole and my hair is wet and we are going to be late for story time!"

"Give me my keys, get in your seat, now!!!"

Crying, followed by teary eyed compliance.

Hello two, as advertised,you are truly terrible.