Q:what is the difference between my house and the zoo?

Overheard at my house today:

My mom and the dog
on the dog front, my mom hates my dog, and is completely annoyed when she is inside.

a. "ay, this dog is no good, where's the broom?"

b. "Annabelle, stop giving Bella your food."

c. "princess, snowball, tu-- Bella, go away you stupid dog. leave me alone."

d. "ay, dog, don't lick her, it's a miracle she doesn't have microbios."

e. "go a-way dog, you are not part of our fun."

Hyphen and my mom

Hyphen and my mom always have an interesting repartee. Hyphen won't let me boss him around, but my mom is another story. They love to tease each other:

a. mom: "see H---, that's what you have to look forward to (gesturing to the prostate commercial), going and going and going.."

hyphen: "I would just strap on a diaper"

b. hyphen (eating a bowl of shrimp heads): "would you like a shrimp head?"

mom(disgusted): "No. What's the matter with you?"

c. Hyphen(politely asking, anticipating the answer to be no): "I am going to Kroger, do you need anything?"

mom: "yes, a cinnamon roll. But not from Kroger's, from Shipley's. Not a cinnamon roll, a bear claw. Not a bear claw a an apple fritter."

Hyphen: "what if they don't have an apple fritter?"

Mom: "then don't come back."

Meanwhile, Annabelle and Hyphen, or should I say Clouseau and Cato, where running around the house hiding and then scaring each other. Even Granny got in the act, telling Annabelle where he was hiding. The three of them were screaming with laughter. The dog didn't enjoy this one bit and came over to my seat and tried to hide from the hiding.

A: at the zoo the animals are in cages.