did you hear the one about when the tea cup chihuahua and the mormon missionaries wandered into the yard?

I went on a walk this evening and as I was almost back at my folks' house I stopped to talk to Brenda, my parent next door neighbor who was out watering her front yard. Her yard stretches out for a long way in front of her house and from it you can see my parents' back yard--there are no real fences in Castroville and everyone just kind of mosies about into each other's yards. My dad and Gerry (Brenda's husband) were sitting in my parent's yard in what has been dubbed the "beir garten" enjoying a cold one. And this is what happened...

Brenda: Annabelle has a surprise for you.

me: another one? (She had been picking Brenda's tomatoes and taking them to me as I cleaned the kitchen)

Brenda (with a sly smile): oh yes.

Annabelle came roaring up holding a tea cup chihuahua under its arms. The chihuahua, who she named Jack, was as happy as a clam despite his apparent flea problem and so was Annabelle.

Annabelle: look mommy! Look what I found! Can we keep him? He's so, so cuuuttee"

Me: he is cute! who does he belong to?

Brenda: I don't know--but I think maybe Gerry and your grandpa can keep him.

Annabelle: where is he going to sleep?

Brenda: we'll make a place for him in the garage.

Now, I knew this would go over like a lead balloon so I headed over to the curmudgeon table...

Me: So, you got yourselves a new pet...

Gerry: Lord, we did not. Your daddy did.

Me(sweetly): But Brenda says you're going to keep him--

Gerry "I'll be danged if I'm gonnna have these durn cats and a damned old dog too...

Daddy: you should take that dog to Houston. His turds will only be about that big (hand gesture) not like the big ol' things you're picking up now and Annabelle loves him. You should have seen her whistling to get him to come to her. And then she took him in the house to show your mother.

Me: What did grandma say Annabelle?

Annabelle (pouty): she told me to get him out of the house before he peed in it.

It was about this time that some mormon missionaries walked into Brenda's front yard and started talking to her while she was watering the grass.

Gerry: oh lord squirt 'em. now she is talking to them, she's in for it now. When they come by I usually send them over here and tell them you are troubled and need saving.

Mom (who was now on the back porch): you better not!..Is that why I got stuck with them? (Calling out to Chico, a neighbor who had ridden up on his bike to join my dad and gerry) Chico, es tu perro?


Chico: no, I think he is Tina's

Mom: no, he belongs to the delanfuente's

Chico: no they have a white dog. This is Tina's.

Daddy: are they Jehovah's or Mormons?

Me: Mormons. Can't you tell by their black pants and white shirts?

we were momentarily distracted by pumpkin, my parents cat, attempting to stalk Jack

Daddy: sic 'em pumpkin

Annabelle: can we keep Jack mommy?

Me: if he doesn't belong to anyone, then we will take him home to Houston, sweetheart.

The mormons finished with Brenda and looked down my parents' driveway, and waved.

Daddy(under his breath): I am not waving, I am not waving. I am gonna offer them a beer.

I, of course, waved back.

Gerry: now you have to talk to them.

Me: that's fine, I am trying to convert mormons. The Jehovah's in my neighborhood say they can tell I know the lord.

Then Jack scared Tallulah and she started to sob and the party was over. In the end, we found Jack's owner. His real name is Pee-wee. He belonged to some old ladies down the street--one of them being Tina. Annabelle said they looked like witches and she was heartbroken about it. She needed some extra grandpa cuddles to recover from her loss.

Tomorrow we are headed to Sea World.