do you know the doo-doo butt?

My cousins and I all had babies at the same time. So back in February we went to one of the birthday parties and everyone was talking about what their kids' nicknames were. Reece was Reeceroo. Beau is Beau-Beau. James is Juggernaut. When everyone was sharing I was dreading what was coming next.

Random Cousin: what is Annabelle's nickname?

Me and Hyphen: "Doo-doo butt."

Hyphen said it with glee. I said it a little more dourly.

Hyphen gave her the name doo-doo butt at the hospital. He has an entire song about it, that is sung to the tune of do you know the muffin man "do you know the doo-doo butt?" He would sing her this song when she was a little baby and she would smile and coo. Ugh. I felt like I was in a losing battle against the worst nickname in the world. My dad's nickname for me is Stella-Pooh, because I am his Pooh bear. Obviously, I do not like the doo-doo part. Or the butt part.

A little girl pointed out to him once that it is not nice to say the word butt. No sweetie, it's not.

But Hyphen is nothing if not egalitarian in his offensiveness. Tonight he sang her the following song as he was loading her up in the van after a quick Target trip:

I am your doo-doo daddy
I like to doo-doo too
When I am old and blind
You will change my dirty poo.

The tune was a cross between 50s broadway and a march. Kind of catchy actually. It had some other verses, but the mind is kind and I forgot them.