So there he was again. I swear this punk is stalking me. We were in the dressing room of the Y and who walks in? Turd-kid, of course. And his mom. He had just finished his swim class and we were heading to ours. It might have been because he was naked and so was Annabelle, but we had a mini-truce and therefore a somewhat civilized conversation.
Me: "hey kid, where's your bike?"
Turd-kid: "it's at home. I am swimming. I am going to be a good swimmer, like my poppa."
Me (struggling to put a 17 month old baby in a 12 month old suit): "I am sure you will."
Turd-kid: "where's your suit?
Me: (still struggling with the suit) "it's under my clothes"
Turd-kid: "Are you going to swim with her? My mom doesn't have to swim with me. I swim by myself."
Me: (one arm in, now jamming the other one) "that's good for you."
Turd-kid's mom: (who has watched me struggle with the 12 month old suit) "You know what I did? I bought a bikini for my daughter and just used the top and put a swim diaper on the bottom." (Note: of course you did. I get seriously creeped out by babies in bikinis and this woman is also one of my nemesises/nemisi)
Finally, I got her suit on!
Turd kid: "She looks so beautiful and cute!"
Watch it there Romeo.
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