thanksgiving apologies

This year i am sorry about the following things

1. Annabelle, I am sorry I told you that Santa wouldn't bring you any toys if you didn't take your medicine. I was frustrated and worried and I had already tried to force it in you and trick you with it, all to no avail. But the good news is, I never have to worry about anyone poisoning you by slipping you a mickey in your milk, juice, ice cream or by injecting something into a mini Reese's peanut butter cup. I am also sorry that I took you to the doctor so they could give you an antibiotic shot. I am thankful; however, you are getting better.

2. Mom and Dad: I am sorry I almost ruined your Thanksgiving by bringing my dog home. I am sorry that she is the most horrible dog in the world. I am sorry that there is one thing wrong with her: she's a dog. I am sorry I was unable to find a kennel while I was taking care of my infant daughter who had pneumonia. I should try to manage my time more wisely. But on the bright side, she was entertaining to the kids who came, so that's good, and she pooped at my in-laws house and not at yours, so that is good too.

3. To Hyphen: I am sorry I am the worst driver you have ever seen. I am sorry that after 5 years of living in our house, I still hit the curb every time I back out of the driveway. I am sorry that I almost killed us so many times on the way to San Antonio that you made me pull over so you could drive the rest of the way while I looked at my Instyle magazine.

Cue The Sting music now.