things that annoy me -part I

I have had a few dogs in my lifetime, and some of them, actually most of them were genius-level, with true human intelligence and had loving, empathetic souls. Friendship was pratically a sister/nursemaid to Audrey and me growing up. Then Princess, my dad's dog, then Sweetie, Hyphen's and my first dog together, followed by Snowball, the best little dog of all time. And then came Bella. If there are genius dogs, then there must be retards too. Idiot curs with no ability to follow basic commands, let alone to refrain from knocking everyone she meets to the grounds. Marley ain't got nothing on this one.

My annoynace started a few hours into our relationship when she crapped in her kennel mere moments after Hyphen let her out to do her business. If you know anything about dogs, then you know it takes a special inbred moron to poop in their kennel. Dogs just won't do it. My list of grievances is long and varied, and I thought things would be better with me at home spending more time with her, but it has just given me the ability to really see just how "limited" she is. (note: whenever I refer to anyone as limited it's my nice way as saying dumb as a post)

So, instead of regaling you with everything she does wrong, I will give you a summary of the things she does well. Here it goes:

1. Good at digging holes
2. Good at catching and killing critters such as possums, squirrels and birds.
3. Good at hiding the critters in the holes she has dug when she sees me coming with the shovel to steal away her hard earned treasure.
4. Good at licking the baby in the face.
5. Good at busting out of the yard,running down the street, and finding Annabelle and I when we go to the park.
6. Good at not coming inside when called.
7. Good at barking in the middle of the night.
8. Good at running around the yard in the middle of the night while I am chasing her in my underwear trying to get her to come in.

My mom says I could solve my dog problems by dropping her off on I-10. My neighbor said that 610 was closer to the house.

But the thing is, she is the first thing Annabelle smiled or laughed at and she is really a very sweet dog, just extremely..... limited. Sigh.